sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
