so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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