thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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