If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
