i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
