under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
