I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
