How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We had to coat check the pizza.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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