Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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