Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
