Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
