I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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