Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
