btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
