Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this beer tastes like vomit already
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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