Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
