Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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