so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
