I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
