I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
