why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
