i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
