I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
