Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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