I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Never let your siblings swipe right.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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