i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
