I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
