I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
