I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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