Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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