I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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