we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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