i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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