ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
