That's when you crack a 10am beer
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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