9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
