So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've blown a few things in my day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
