so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
