do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
