i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize