I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize