so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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