Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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