I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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