i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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