Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
