if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
