Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize