I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need water and some morals
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize