He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
