my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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