Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
