HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize