...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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