am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do vagina's smell?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
