You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
