We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
