god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
