were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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