she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
