dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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